Good Ole Equity

For Theatre, we were put into groups and assigned a guild to present on with a visual aid. She paired me with Jester and, of course, we had to use the Master Cheifs. We were assigned Actor's Equity so we devised a skit involving members of Equity and one of our classmates. Below is a picture of the cast with the names of their parts, with the exception of the giant Pikachu used for the odd finale.



And here's the script:

Patrick Quinn: Hello, My name is Patrick Quinn, President of Actor’s Equity. You know, we are rarely in control of our own destinies. Actor’s Equity is here to give its members a united voice in determining basic compensation and working conditions.

Alec Baldwin: That’s right. Hi, I’m Alec Baldwin. Actor’s Equity was founded in New York City in 1913 and its jurisdiction covers actors and stage managers in the professional theatre.

Angela Lansbury: Hello, I’m the lady from “Murder, She Wrote”. Equity’s goals are to secure and protect the rights of members in their business relations with employers. Equity has over 45,000 members in the United States.

Ashley Judd: I’m Ashley Judd. Equity is a member of the American Federation of Labor and Congress of Industrial Organizations and is a branch of the Associated Actors and Artists of America or the Four A’s. We’re also an affiliate of the Federation Internationale des Actuers, an international organization with members from 43 countries.

Rosie O’Donnell: Bonjour, (my name is Rosie O’Donnell.) in French

Martin Sheen: Hi, I’m Martin Sheen. There are many benefits to joining AE. If you have worked for a minimum of 10 weeks, you qualify for a health plan.

Rosie O’Donnell: Yes!

Martin Sheen: If you are employed under contract, and have participated for a number of years actively you can qualify for the Pension and Retirement Plans.

Angela Lansbury: Yes!

Boy: Ooh, ooh! I want to join Actor’s Equity! My name is Boy and I’m a 16-year old student at Wayne State College.

Alec Baldwin: Whoa, hold on there! First you need $1100 for an initiation fee.

Ashley Judd: Then you need either an Equity Contract, be affiliated with the 4 A’s, or participate in the Equity Membership Candidate Program which allows in-training candidates to earn equity credit. Or there’s the Equity Showcase in which a member from AE and SAG among others showcase their fresh talent in hopes for securing auditions.

Boy: Oh Man! I’m only a college freshman at 16 years old. I have none of that.

Stewie Griffin: Well, I doubt you’d go far in Equity with the name “Boy”. That is my professional name and in Equity, you would have to change yours so that there isn’t 2.

(Boy runs off crying)

Patrick Quinn: Even then, he needs to pay his semi-annual dues of $118, and, of course, Equity will get 2% of you gross earnings until we steal a total earnings of $300,000 from you and that would only happen if you made $150 million.

Angela Lansbury: Ah yes, but if your employer becomes insolvent, you will get all the money and benefits as agreed by the contract through Equity’s bonds.

Martin Sheen: But if you are delinquent in paying dues for two years, your membership is cancelled, and you lose all benefits.

Alec Baldwin: Don’t forget about Equity’s Anti-Discrimination Policy.

Sergeant Johnson: That’s right. Without it I would not be eligible along with anyone else regardless of gender, age, race, and ability. And they also try to expand non-traditional roles for those people.

Rosie O’Donnell: All right! (or some other French expression)

Pikachu: Pikachu!