Live Quotes from American Dad's Pilot

"You like shaving your armpits, Hayley? 'Cuz when the terrorists take over, that's the first thing to go." - Stan Smith
"We can't all look like those anorexic aliens in the James Cameron movies." - Roger
"Oh God, I have a bearclaw in my ass." - Roger
"Oh for Allah's sake, put some clothes on." - Arab sitcom star
"Check it out, the eraser is stuck up Bin Laden's pooper." - Stan Smith
"Wanna go back to my apartment and pet my schnouzer? Then later we can play with this dog." - Man on street
"Could you downplay our relationship in your public addresses?" - God to Bush
"Ooh, that's Cheney, I gotta take it. Hello, sir." - God
"Sorry, Steve, no dog. I'd be more than glad to get you an Etch-a-Sketch." - Stan Smith
"Oh God, he's going to pee, oh, oh, oh, no wait, just dust." - Stan Smith
"Don't ask me to bring him back with that E.T. finger thing because that's a load of crap." - Roger
"God, please take this soul up to heaven, becuase he can't walk. He's dead." - Stan Smith
"Aw, I thought I was gonna fart." - Stan Smith
"You know what Shakespeare said. I don't, but you do." - Jeff
"Hilary, look out for the mines!" - Stan Smith to Hilary Duff
"All I know is that he's Jewish but if you give me some churros I could stretch that out to about 12 pages." - Roger about Henry Kissinger
"I want to ride the buffalo!...Now send in the lunch lady." - Steve Smith
"Every sentence must end in a Steve." - Mr. Phillips
"Mr. Phillips can I be excused? I'm having my Steve." - Female student
"It's too risky right now, I'll call back later." - Perverted teacher to frog
"Steve, this comes from years of experience: Women are never right." - Stan Smith
"If you expect to get any boob, it's going to cost you a boadload of Twinkies." - Roger